My favorite moments in life occur when I am unable to distinguish my dreams from reality. . . and the more of those moments that occur, the harder and harder it gets to do so. What’s even more strange is when life manages to work out even better than you imagined.
‘Life is but a dream, within a dream.’ – Shakespeare
My last night in america was even better than I could ever imagine. Another one of those fleeting perfect moments that almost make going through the monotony and boredom of everyday life worth it. Perhaps it was the everyday drag that made these moments all the more colored. The orange glow of the city burned against the cool blue hues of the night sky. Light and dark cycled within the cabin of the car as we rode from one end of the city to the other. Distant stars twinkled in that melancholy as the tall office buildings going by the window turned into houses. The sight of the small duplex signaled the end of the night which blurred into me plopping down on a nice comfy bed.
“Nights like these never last as long as they should”
Ed told me the very words I had thought in my mind earlier
“If every night was like this none of them would be that great”
I embraced the darkness surrounding me only to be violently ripped from it by my virtual self. The buzz of the phone vibrating not far pulled me from my favorite place in the world, the abyss of my mind. Three hours of sleep after a night of drinking and dancing would have paralyzed a normal being, but as a gamer getting low amounts of sleep is standard fare. Wishing my sister goodbye would have been more dramatic if I didn’t know she was meeting me at the airport later.
My ears welcomed the sound of the loud iconic rumble of boxer engine as the my only love came to life. The small blue sedan with the boy racer spoiler was just of much a piece of my body as my hand was. Through daily commuting, late night taco-bell runs, and the road trips to college and back the machine had carved a special place in my heart. It had been six years since the time we had taken her from the used car lot, almost a quarter of my life I had been with this car. It was this car where I practiced heel toe down shifting and rev matching everyday, treating my favorite road, McMurray road more like a rally course than a public roadway. The four other seats in the car had held some of the few, but very dear friends of mine.This was my millennium falcon. . . Tsukino Usagi Saeko the weeblord name I had given to my car. Serine Child Moon bunny
The cool shades of blue were beginning to fight with the pure white light creeping over the mountain top. I thanked Ed not only for coming out to see my favorite musician, but for his friendship in college .The League of Legends club was one of the places where I could be myself. Feeling the weight of the car shift and I found myself alone again. Driving through a tunnel of evergreen trees I witnessed on of the most beautiful sunrises I had seen in my life. The beauty of it made me realize that I would be leaving that constant in my life behind. From almost anywhere in Tacoma you could see the distinct shape of the snow capped mountain. The minor league baseball team, a beer, and several schools in the area were named after it0 All of my friends lived in the shadow of that mountain, there are so many good memories that have that mountain in it. Not that of skiing, snowboarding, or climbing, like a subtle detail in a good film it was always there.
I arrived at my house with just enough time to shower and put on my favorite joggers, pre-packing the bags all that was left to do was move them to the car. My mental image of that morning went a lot differently than the events that played out before my eyes. I would have traded some of that perfect night away if I could eat breakfast with my dad as we had originally planned. Perhaps my dad was more sad to see me go than he was willing to admit. Although there was a smile on his face, his eyes told a different story. He claimed that he was too tired to go, but he has never been that great at being in touch with his own feelings.
“I love you” was more than just words, it was felt in the arms that had always been there for me. Love was the smell of Marlboro Menthol Lights which clinged to an over sized hoodie with that ever present hat on top. It was a smell that took me to the front porch. The thought of those sunsets we watched, chatting, barbecuing, or just being with each other in silence. The feeling of regret gripped my heart wishing I had spent more time just being there. Like a small child I turned when we drove off wanting to see the image of him standing there smiling and waving for longer. Knowing I would be halfway around the world from my pops made me think about all the things we got mad over. . .and I saw the mountains that had separated us as mole holes.
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