I just hit one of my all-time lows in this country. I felt everything I had been working towards slipping out of control. Freefalling toward rock bottom induced a shock that woke me up. I thought back to what I was trying to teach the kids in my DJ club. My own words bounced around my head. “It’s not what you do when things are going well that defines your character. Oppositely, it’s how you act when things seem like they can’t get any worse. The fork in the road stared me in the face. I could either let this moment define me or use this opportunity to rebuild my life. Resting at the bottom, I realized Change is not easy but it’s simple.
The small changes I started to implement began in the morning. I can lay in my warm bed for the better part of the day. Sleep is a nice escape from reality when I’m allowed to just disappear. Change is not easy, but it’s simple enough to get up and get to work early. Therefore I begrudgingly dragged myself out of bed earlier than normal. Starting off the day with something this difficult made the rest of the day’s tasks seem easier in comparison.
Logging and OneNote
If change is not easy, but simple what are some of the barriers that prevent it? One aspect of being resistant to change is comfort, which I fell out of due to my dire situation. Knowing what areas you need to shape up can also be a barrier to improvement. This might require a third party to help give you some feedback on some areas of your life. However, the act of reflecting on your actions is often enough to spark change. That is if you’re willing to be honest with yourself.
Even for those who are brutally honest with themselves, remembering what you do every day is an accurate stretch for anyone. I’ve started to use OneNote to log what actions I take at work. Microsoft’s OneNote is a great application for taking notes, logging actions, and setting goals. When set up correctly it will be synced to cloud storage so you’ll never have to worry about losing or updating your journal.
At Work
I’m usually very productive. Even when pulled in multiple directions due to having useful skills in various departments. I always make progress on my projects. My international school in Iwate Japan is very similar to a startup company. Because we launched just this year, there are not a lot of established policies, procedures, and systems. It is very hectic at times and it seems some days we’re putting fires out rather than building our systems and policies. That’s what also makes start-ups so exciting.
In my going back to the basics post. I highlighted how focusing on understanding how to do fundamental tasks right was so important. That couldn’t be more true in an organization. I feel like I’m in a unique place at my school because I’m one of the only staff members that straddle the line between a millennial and a Gen Z. (I’ve never identified really with either) Microsoft has pushed their technology so far within the last thirty years, but utilizing all those software optimizations, cloud technology, automation, and even A.I. is another thing.
Bringing Change to a New Organization is Simple, but Difficult
In an organization as young as mine, all you have to do is put up your hand and say I have an idea for doing things more efficiently than we are now. You build a small test environment and then you implement it. It’s not hard to implement a change because things are so small and mobile, the difficulty comes in risking your ego because you don’t know everything. My low sense of self-assuredness comes in handy here, because I’m okay with not being an expert.
I’ve eaten so many slices of humble pie over the past five or six years, that it’s easy for me to say I don’t know something. . .but. The big but is I can try to learn and relearn if I have to. When I was an arrogant college kid, I couldn’t learn anything about using software because my cup was already full. Trying to stay mindful about emptying your cup is like change. This is simple, but oh so difficult. This whole year I’ve challenged myself to relearn Microsoft’s software environment. I’ve learned so much via microsoft‘s learn site, google, YouTube, and playing and experimenting with Office 365.
The Dots Connect Bringing Change to my Perception of the Past
I had my Steve Jobs moment of “the dots connecting looking back” as I trolled about automating information flow and data entry. You’d be surprised how much you can do with forms, excel sheets, and power automation. (I have so much to learn about each individual program, and the new tools and environment as well). As I was working through building a system at work it dawned on me that all my half-assed coding study from both high school Java and college python and C helped me use power automation. Essentially what you are doing is building systems and functions using variables, arrays, and conditions.
I am not the greatest coder, but I realized not everyone can think so abstractly about a problem. Perhaps it was my autism, but not everyone tries to break down the world into concrete logical systems.
When Work is Over
When work was finished for the day I went home. I’d eat, watch some YouTube/Netflix, and grind competitive games. This caused my apartment to slowly unravel into a disastrous mess. This process repeated until Saturday or Sunday when it was so gross I had to clean it. Due to my emergency move, my whole routine had shifted. My commute wasn’t too long anymore, but the internet was so awful I couldn’t play online games anymore 😢. I spent the first week after moving in settling in and resting.
Laying on the bed I thought “change isn’t easy, but it’s simple” and peered over to my running shoes. There was some snow on the ground, it was cold, and the last thing I wanted to do was run around outside. . . so I found myself running outside. Waking up early that day had given me just enough momentum to put on my running shoes. On the way out of the apartment, I took my dirty clothes to the washing machine. I’m already busting my ass, I might as well be efficient with my time.
I Told My Counselor I wanted to Change
When I could afford to use better help, my counselor would often challenge some of my actions and viewpoints. It was in a healthy caring way, but one of the things so said I can work on is maybe taking small steps to keep something clean rather than relying on a major chunk of time dedication on one day. Upon returning I did my laundry, washed some dishes, and cleaned up the cans and bottles lying around. It felt good to clean up the space around me.
There is a metaphysical belief I carry that your items, space, and things like your car represent you. They Carry a piece of your soul and I wanted to clean up my act and soar. So many companies suffer from poor organization. So much time is spent looking for tools, files, etc. I had a dream of running touge legends one day. Was it weird that I wanted to run a company, but I could barely run my life? It was time to start change.
Moving Forward
I still had time to talk to some of my comp gaming friends. My apex team exploded (that’s a story for another time, but I still had friends online. Spectating, I watched them play as I began to type this blog post. My to-do list for trying to build my online following stared me in the face untouched, but I realized this blog can also serve as something to keep me accountable and as an act of meditation or self-reflection. I closed out the night reading some pages from Philip Toshio’s the Zen guitar. It was a guide to life.
Put on the white belt Marco, you’re just getting started.
