Self Assessment after a month of my conecentrated effort to make 2024 a great year. I don’t know what made me decide that 2024 was going to move my life in a better trajectory. In this post I said that life is not a movie. However perhaps like movie characters we gain the opportunity for growth when we hit rock bottom? 2023 was a terrible year for me, I’m proud that I stood up for my values, but that didn’t make it any easier. Being unemployed for such a long time made it hard to look in the mirror everyday. Now past that bridge, it’s been a month since I’ve dedicated myself to self improvement. Although I love to push and think about the future, even fantasize about the far future. I also make time to pause, reflect, and look back on how things are going.
Change is Slow Belief in Change is Steady
Self Assessment on Non Negotiables
Daily Exercise
One of the Non-Negotiables I’ve set up this year is to Exercise Daily. I haven’t been perfect, but that’s okay. The chase for perfection holds us back when we’re trying to build new and better habits. Previously when I would miss a day of exercise I’d beat myself up. As a result of this self punishment, it would be harder to get “back on the horse” as old timers say. The more I’ve leaned into self-love and acceptance of my faults, the easier it is to have an off day. I’m not perfect, but I can try to be a little bit better tomorrow.
I’ve done an okay job about exercising more this year. For now, my only source of exercise is running around my neighborhood. While I’d like to optimize and add variety to the routine, it’s important to set the foundational habit first. Using the Nike Run Club App is nice because I can do a variety of guided runs, but I can also choose to run in silence.
Short Term Plans for Variety
Changing Times of Running
I tend to run at night, perhaps it’s due to my exercise being linked with sports practice as a child. I’d like to change the times I run to see the world in a different light. From my photography, it’s easy to tell I love the world bathed in a variety of dreamy lights. The world transforming into a plethora of individual dreams, souls, and colors as opposed to that of one star. Maybe night time is for those who prefer swimming against the steam, those who lean towards an individual expression of illuminated aura. In the darkness of night we all become stars in a way. Not only is the vastness of the universe more highlighted by a brilliant display of a million sons, but we can let our own light shine. Side tangent aside. . . I would like to run at different parts of the Day.
Body Weight Workouts.
When I reflect upon my time in Japan, I often see older photos of me. It’s easy to see that I’ve lost some definition in my arms, shoulders, and abs. Believe it or not, for the first couple of years in Japan I didn’t have access to a gym. Instead what I would do is go to the local park and cover the basic bodyweight exercises. Pushups, pullups, squats, and calisthenics can go a long way with consistency. If you have access to a temperature controlled gym, be sure to check your privilege, because that is such a gift. Not having access to one now, I’ll be sure to be more thankful when the time comes for my next enrollment.
Dancing By Myself
Dancing is a great way to express yourself and burn calories. Part of the trick with dancing, and what separates the good from the greats, is how easy it looks to do. Doing difficult tasks and making them look easy is where the cool factor of dancing comes in. The move I’m trying to learn right now, the slickback is actually quite energy consuming. In order to get this gravity defying illusion you have to jump continuously.
I think that I’m a pretty good dancer at this point in my life. I’m not “great”, but I can hold my own on the dance floor. When I’m out there, especially after a couple of drinks, it’s easy to become one with the music. I’d like to think that I make it look easy, but it’s not, it’s hours of practice over a long time. Even when I don’t get the time to have a 20 minute dance session I’ll practice a move I’m trying to learn when I’m waiting on a train or at a crosswalk. As a foreigner in Japan I already stick out like a sore thumb. I’ve realized even if people think it’s weird or look, it’s unlikely I’ll ever see them again in a metropolis like Yokohama or Tokyo.
Everyday I’m Shuffling
Although I have love for all forms of dancing and I’d like to learn some b-boy moves again. One of my favorite forms of Dancing is shuffling. Shuffling looks so effortless and fun when done well, on the plus side you never have to touch the floor. Nightclub floors are as disgusting as frat house floors. I picked up this how to shuffle course on Udemy Years ago. I think it’s about time I get my money’s worth and finish the damn thing.
With all hope, I’ll be able to make people think dancing is as effortless for me as they thought school was for me. In my highschool I think people had the misconception that I was intelligent with no effort. While I like to think I’m a little more intelligent than average, I’m probably somewhere right in the middle. In standardized tests I always did pretty well with no preparation, but I always thought that was a result of the school I was in and not to do with any natural gift. My SAT scores were pretty average, but I didn’t really care to study or prepare for them at all.
That being said my teachers would always give me the same assessment, “Gifted but doesn’t apply oneself”. My sister would tell my mom stories about how my math teachers would catch me sleeping in class, call me to answer a question, and then be baffled when I would be able to answer it after being awoken from my nap. To the amazement of some of my peers, my best friend Travis would also joke around about that.
Unseen Effort in High School
What my classmates, teachers, and even parents didn’t see was what I did in my room late at night. . . Get your head out of the gutter. Sometimes I would sit at night with my books just looking at the problems. Some cases, like english, where yes I just didn’t read the material consistently or type reports. Math and physics were different. Sometimes I would just stare at the pages we were supposed to learn and flip back to the homework page. I carry an odd characteristic, if I don’t fully understand something I feel don’t know anything about it.
It might have been better to just try and sort things out one problem at a time. Even as a highschooler I followed the zen philosophy. When I was tired I would sleep on the problem. The following day I’d make sense of the puzzle. Sadly homework had deadlines. Back then I wasn’t too good at keeping deadlines. My grades suffered, but I always did my best to fully understand the material.
Particularly in precalc there was some challenging material. My friends didn’t realize I attended learning session between the end of school and the start of football practice. The math teacher still couldn’t get me to do my homework, but she allowed me to learn.
Self Assessment of Japanese Study
日本語の勉強が無理だよなあ I’m finding it really difficult to dedicate myself to this one. I need to just button down and do it! Not much to write about this one other than I need to actually do it. As with exercise, it’s more important to make the habit regular before optimizing it. In addition I think I just need to start with consuming more Japanese content. Watching one episode of anime per day isn’t enough input to start to innately understand the language. I’m enjoying watching 青春ブタ野郎はバニーガール先輩の夢を見ない, but I’ll have to start farming more words and placing them into a flashcard system.
I’ve learned two words, ticket gate, and enoshima line. I’ve even managed to pick up a grammar pattern ために. This pattern is used to describe an action done for the sake of something else. In order to become a pro driver I’ll practice on racing simulators. レーシング選手になるために、シムレーターで練習する.
Need to better develop this habit!!
To Do List
- Keep better track and record of finances
- Design Shirts, Clothes, Sweaters, and Products for the brand
- Make a diagram of LaidbackLifestyle funnels and web
- Redesign website to integrate product sales
- Cleanup YouTube channels, linking, and tags
- Send Ophelia, Monstercat, and Other Labels a Demo. . .how do I put together a demo and press kit?
- Visualizer for “Lost at Sea”
- Vertical Visualizer
- Visualizer for “Feel Good Inc.” Drumstep Remix
Create shorts from Tokyo Underground Footage for LaidbackJDM- Quit Gatekeeping talk us through your process
- Upload any Video To LaidbackGaming
- Finish Editing Yokohama Photos and Post Them Online
- Make a reel with trending audio of before and after edits
- Draw anime characters on them for laidbackanime
- Create Shortform Content from Nissan Global HQ
- How to Make Music Video DAW
- A7III Review
- Make some Art
Publishing my to do list takes learning in public to a new level. As a matter a fact it’s more living in public at this point.
Living in Public
As a result of the modern world, this is the best way to keep a record of my actions. This record serves to showcase my skills, hard work, and determination. In the case that I do “make it” whatever that means this collection of logs will serve as my evidence. Fellow dreamers, misfits of society, and those who look up to me will be able to follow my steps. Like an explorer of unknown words I’m hoping that this roadmap will be able to light the way for others. Posting of my own shortcomings online puts me in a vulnerable spot, but it also makes it easier for others to avoid the same pitfalls.
In the case that there are “haters” I would just like to leave this here as evidence of my hard work and dedication to the craft of life. When I was a kid I would go to barnes and noble with my family and pour over cheatbooks and strategy guides for games. I couldn’t always understand and apply that knowledge, but I’m hoping this blog turns into somewhat of a Prima Strategy Guide for the game of life.
Making Time For Leisure
Speaking of games, I’m still going to make the time to play video games. Although I’ve been taking the time to read, write, and create content more, gaming is still alive in my heart. I’ve been able to use gaming as proof to myself that you can improve with time and dedication. When I hit diamond I proved to myself that you can set a goal and attain it with enough effort. If I can do it in game, why wouldn’t I be able to do it outside of game?
That being said, I’m going to make time to play other games too. Not only because I have a channel called LaidbackGaming that needs content, but in addition I also just like other games. When I moved apartments I didn’t have internet immediately. While it made it so I couldn’t get my APEX fix, it also opened the door for me to finish Life is Strange: True Colors. Life is Strange has easily become one of my favorite game series and has even gone on to impact how I shoot videos. As I go throughout this 2024 journey, for the current space I have it’s about reframing limitations.
Reframing Limitations
In an effort to get better control of my finances, I’m trying to avoid uber eats, eating out, and conbinis. After all racing needs to be funded by something. Because Laidback Lifestyle is a team of one currently it’s a perfect time for me to learn business practices at a small level. Keeping track of cash flow is more important for businesses than it is for individuals, so I should probably get on that. Because of my eczema, aging, and the eventual death of my ego, I’ve felt the ‘woe is me’ what’s the point attitude. At times there are things that happen that are outside of my control. But this year I’ve finally started to shed that attitude and focus on what I can.
When there are limitations placed on you I think it’s easy to beat yourself up. But we can approach this subject with a different lens or perspective. Although I was memeing on the toxic positivity of LinkedIn, the flexibility to work with limitations feeds our growth. Okay I don’t have the finances to race currently, how can I gain access to those finances? How can I race on a lower budget? What are ways I can cut costs and supplement my income? These are all ways of reframing this problem into bite sized chunks that we can take action on.
You Are What You Eat . . .So Is Your Wallet
Okay back to the point I was trying to. When I moved into my apartment I found it hard to adjust to the smaller kitchen. I relied on ubereats and the closest Lawson Station to feed myself. While the convenience and taste are excellent it’s quite damaging to your body . . . and wallet. Okay Marco how can we learn to make use of the two cooking tools you have to make healthy and tasty food?
If Martha Stewart can make some delicious food with just a microwave surely I can learn to make delicious food with a toaster oven and a single convection heater. Not only would I be eating healthier food, I’d be learning a skill that would go with me the rest of my life. In addition I’d be saving some money.
Look at this sandwich I made with a few simple ingredients. I was able to buy some fruit, raisins, and vegetables as well. It’s funny because the toaster oven is telling me what to do Keep it Simple stupid. In 2024 I’m learning the art of reframing my limitations.
To Close Off
The first month of 2024 is already over wow. The Laidback Log is helping me to document the past, but become the author of my future. I hope to keep the forward momentum, much like a hero in the games I play. To be able to control my own narrative helps me to build aspiration. The future will be a testament to the belief that the most growth comes from the hardest challenges.
Like one of my favorite games Life is Strange, you’ve been able to see into a slice of my life. The n neighborhood runs the solitary dance sessions and even some of my high school life. Echos of a time and person that feel like a stranger now. I extend an invitation to you, to get lost and find solace in the journey, not just the destination.
My pursuit of self-improvement starts with non-negotiables and dappled with dreams and heights I might not be able to attain. Maybe life has grander plans and suprises in store, perhaps I have yet to appreciate the gifts I already have. Here’s to the pages yet to be written, to the lessons yet to be learned, and to the shared belief that, within us all, lies the potential to craft our own story of redemption and discovery.
As I march into the rest of 2024, let this blog serve as a beacon for fellow dreamers, a reminder that in the embrace of our vulnerabilities and the celebration of our strides, we are truly living.
