“People want to judge you based on what you’ve done before, but they don’t know what you’re capable of down the line”
Tyler the Creator
To Create is to Believe in One’s Vision
There’s a well-worn saying that ‘seeing is believing,’ in my quest for not just a good life, but a truly exceptional one, I’ve discovered that some people embrace a different kind of vision. Looking at the legends that exist within our reality, they carry an almost delusional self-belief. In addition, they harbor the ability to buy in and commit to things that haven’t been brought into the world yet. In other words, they have faith.
It doesn’t matter if they believe in God, themselves, or another greater power. Having faith is the most important part of the equation. Faith is something that I don’t possess much of. I’m a cynical nihilist without much faith in anything. My love of technology, science fiction, and theoretical physics is a double-edged sword. Like one of my favorite films, The Matrix, I question the very nature of reality. I have no faith in myself alone something I can’t see or what lies beyond.
Sensationalism, Insight, Sensibility
For those of the older generation, I know it can be hard to believe that it’s possible to gain insight from a social media website called YouTube. Having grown up alongside the website, I remember when Numa Numa and an Angry German Kid were the most popular videos. The commercialization and algorithmic optimization/Mr. Beastification has transformed the website into something unrecognizable. Despite the evolving nature of the platform, which increasingly favors content designed for maximum engagement through sensationalism and fast-paced entertainment, there remains valuable insight if you search in the right places.
Gaining insight from Tyler the creator in a video posted on an art curation account isn’t exactly “high brow”. Although I listen to my fair share of podcasts, commencement speeches, lectures, and TED talks, sometimes I like a kiss.
Keep it simple stupid
Get Comfortable With Yourself
The video starts with Tyler talking about how he never fit in growing up. For my loyal readers, you will know that I’m no stranger to this feeling. What I can learn from Tyler is our differing reactions to the same stimulus. While I looked inward and thought I was a flawed human being Tyler had a different reaction. Instead of shriveling up, being different can be an empowering strength.
Reality is largely negotiable.
If you stress-test the boundaries and experiment with the “impossibles,” you’ll quickly discover that most limitations are a fragile collection of socially reinforced rules you can choose to break at any time.
Tim Ferris
Think for yourself, be yourself, and figure out what you want to do. What do you believe in? How do you carry yourself? After all this writing on my blog, I still don’t have a concrete answer who am I? What is the self? I have a vague idea of what I want to do, and some guiding beliefs and principles, but I don’t carry myself in a way that’s conducive to my beliefs. I wonder if there is a hidden strength in my cynical, sad, lonely, and negative thoughts. I’m sure Green Day, Punk, Dubstep, and Future Bass artists don’t make their music because they are happy and hopeful.
Just Try It
When Tyler describes the amount of mental editing humans do before even trying an idea I thought he was talking about me. Somewhere along the line, I became afraid to share myself with the world. I think it was a couple of months into high school when I retreated into my head. It might sound a little weird coming from someone who uploads videos of their life online, but I think we all filter ourselves so much. Is it a result of not wanting to offend anyone, online culture, or growing up? Somewhere along the line I feel I shaved pieces of myself off to fit into a box I didn’t like.
So Fuck it. I’m just trying things now. Recently I’ve been okay with repetitive failure. I think every post, photo, and video I edit and make gets slightly better. This whole blog has turned into a way for me to put my life online. To use a computer programming joke
System.out.println(“Hello, World”);
Here I am
In a Self-centered Narcissistic World is it really that Hard to Post About Yourself?
Something I’ve expressed to my cousin after nearly three liters of German beer is the pain and difficulty of being creative. I think being creative always puts you in a vulnerable position. You might place your deepest self out into the world for someone to hate it. Furthermore, the creative process isn’t always straightforward enjoyment. The most damaging thing is to put content out that feels like it’s being ignored. While it’s easy to blame algorithms at the end of the day it’s people that don’t like your work.
Revisiting Ideas
I was happy to see that something I already did was talked about. Sometimes you can sit on video footage, an FL studio project, or a sketch. Things won’t materialize the first time. Perhaps you need the right skill level, insight, life experience, or collaborative partner to bring things to fruition. You can mix and match old ideas and projects to create something entirely new.
Don’t Chase Trends
I’m guilty of chasing trends. I’ve written about this recently, but somewhere along the road, I started chasing the viral trends on Instagram and TikTok. The flashy cuts, editing, sound effects, and pacing weren’t what I wanted to create, however. The content I like is very much the opposite of that. So I’d rather stick to my truth and what I want to do. Like Miles Morales in Into the Spiderverse, I can’t be Spiderman like Peter Parker can. It’s important to do things as you.
This is a reflective and personal blog post. We explores the creative process, self-expression, and the challenges of staying true to oneself. To wrap it up, you might want to tie these themes together and leave your readers with a strong, memorable thought. Here’s a suggested conclusion:
Embrace the Messy, Unfiltered You
The journey of creation is as much about self-discovery as it is about bringing something new into the world. It’s not always easy to navigate the noisy, fast-paced environment we live in. Trying to carve out a space for your true self is tricky. But that’s where the magic happens. When you stop filtering and chasing trends and start embracing the raw, unpolished, and sometimes uncomfortable parts of yourself.
In a world that often rewards conformity and sensationalism, it takes courage to stay true to your own vision. But as Tyler, the Creator, and many others have shown, the most meaningful work comes from a place of authenticity and self-belief. So, I’m committing to this path, not just in my art, but in my life as well. It’s time to stop hiding, stop editing myself out of existence, and start believing in the value of my own voice. Despite it feeling flawed or unfinished it may seem.
At the end of the day, it’s not about fitting into a box or meeting someone else’s expectations. It’s about being comfortable with who you are, taking risks, and knowing that every step, every misstep, is part of the process. So here I am, ready to share, to create, and to just try it. Because, in the end, it’s not about being perfect—it’s about being real.
Isn’t Blogging Dead
While writing may not be the trendiest medium in today’s world of short-form content and instant gratification, it’s far from outdated. Running and managing a blog isn’t archaic—it’s a deliberate choice to engage deeply with ideas and creativity. Let’s not forget that the foundation of the internet is built on websites. Many sites rely on strong writing to connect, inform, and inspire. Even in other mediums, like film and television, great writing is often the unseen force driving success. The recent Hollywood writers’ strike showed us just how crucial this craft is. I don’t want to remember all the subpar content in its wake.
For me, embracing writing is not about virtue signaling or claiming superiority over other forms of content; it’s simply about finding what resonates with my voice. Writing allows me to explore thoughts more fully, to refine ideas, and to express myself in a way that feels authentic and meaningful. So, while short-form content has its place, writing is where I find my creative flow. And in a world that’s constantly evolving, I choose to keep writing—because for me, it’s not just about keeping up with trends, but about staying true to what I love.
An Empty Cup
For those familiar with my work, you know that I have a deep appreciation for Eastern philosophy. Many Eastern proverbs and stories emphasize the importance of “emptying your cup”—approaching learning with humility and a willingness to refine even the most basic skills. Earlier this year, I wrote a post titled Back to the Basics, which reflects this philosophy, so it should come as no surprise that I sought to deepen my understanding of the platform I use.
In this spirit of continuous learning and optimization, I decided to master a LinkedIn Learning course on WordPress. My motivation goes beyond personal growth; I recognize that official certifications, documents, and social proof are highly valued in the corporate world, and I believe this will also support my professional development.
Linked in Learning Notes
Everything is Built Off Code
It comes as no surprise that websites are fundamentally built on code. Some millennials may recall their early experiences with HTML through platforms like Myspace, where personal web pages were customized with basic coding. Unfortunately, I couldn’t retrieve my old page—rest in peace, edgy middle school Marco, you will be missed. Recognizing the importance of understanding the underlying structure, I am also gradually working through Harvard’s CS50 Computer Science course to deepen my coding knowledge.
Today, graphic user interfaces (GUIs) have made web design and content management more accessible. These are known as Content Management Systems (CMS). Many may be familiar with CMS platforms like Squarespace, often highlighted on YouTube, which are user-friendly and easy to start with. However, while WordPress may present a steeper learning curve, it offers unparalleled customization options. This flexibility is why many large corporations choose WordPress for their websites—the only limit is your creativity.
Open Source Tools
Open-source tools, like one of my other favorite software platforms, OBS, are invaluable because they allow for modification and customization according to individual needs. I greatly appreciate free resources, and I admire the extensive array of tools and extras that community members develop for open-source platforms.
Hosting
Websites consist of files that need to be stored somewhere, and the most common solution is renting server space from a host. Servers are essentially large computers with extensive physical hard drive space. When a client’s computer requests files, the server processes the request and delivers the necessary data.
Letting Go Rework, Reinvent, Revision
A large aspect of Eastern philosophy is about letting go. Letting go is easier said than done. When we’re having fun, things are going well, or we get into the flow state we want to clutch onto it and make it last longer. As humans with built-in negativity biases, we can also drag our low moments around like weighted chains. Before we know it we’ve let actions and events beyond our control define us. There’s another situation where we tend to grasp longer than we should. When building projects, dreams, bad habits, and even relationships we can fall into the trap of a sunken cost fallacy. Just because you put a lot of effort into something, doesn’t mean you need to continue slogging away at it. Not to be confused with having no conviction and quitting, sometimes it’s good to step back and pivot into a better direction.
While watching the WordPress tutorials, I was surprised having previously discovered much of the information. just by playing around with the software. Sometimes it’s good to put yourself in a space to have breakthrough ideas. What’s a crazier idea than starting over?
Who is LaidbackMarco, Why Laidback?
It might seem like an odd question after all this introspection—shouldn’t I already know who I am? Yet, in the words of a character from American Psycho,
There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman. Some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me. Only an entity. Something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours, and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable, I simply am not there.
American Psycho
It’s intriguing how a line from a cult classic film can encapsulate what I’m feeling at this moment.
My deep dive into Eastern philosophy has led me to view myself as playing a temporary cosmic role. While some aspects of this role are beyond my control, my persona, identity, and self are malleable and can evolve over time. If this is true for me, then why shouldn’t my online identity, website, and social media presence also undergo a redesign?
Moving Past
I chose the name LaidbackMarco when I was in middle school. The reason behind selecting “laidback” is now a mystery to me, but it’s a moniker I’ve carried for nearly 20 years. Why change it now, after so much time? Part of the reason is what I’ve shared above—I don’t want a decision I made so early in life to define me indefinitely. “LaidbackMarco” may have been who I was in 2008, but it no longer reflects who I am today.
Another factor that prompted this reflection is the realization that I can host multiple websites under a single hosting plan. Since I’m already paying for hosting, it makes sense to utilize it for more than one site, especially as domain names are relatively inexpensive. Given the diverse aspects of my life—photography, cars, music, and blogging—I feel each should have its own dedicated website with a design that suits its specific niche. After all, a music website shouldn’t look the same as a JDM lifestyle brand, right?
Embracing Evolution and Authenticity
The journey of self-discovery, creativity, and reinvention is a continuous one. As I reflect on everything I’ve shared in this post—from the influence of creators like Tyler the Creator and my own introspective journey, to the technical skills I’m refining through platforms like WordPress—I’m reminded that growth often requires us to let go of the past to make space for what’s next.
“People want to judge you based on what you’ve done before, but they don’t know what you’re capable of down the line,” said Tyler the Creator. This resonates with me deeply as I reconsider the online identity I’ve carried for nearly two decades. The name “LaidbackMarco” may have served me well in the past, but it no longer encapsulates who I am today. As I embark on this next phase of my life, I’m ready to shed the old skin, to rework, reinvent, and revise not just my online presence, but how I approach my creative endeavors and life itself.
Believing in the Unseen
Creating is about more than just bringing something new into the world—it’s about believing in your vision, even when it feels like no one else does. It’s about daring to be different, to think for yourself, and to express that truth in whatever form it takes. Whether it’s through writing, photography, music, or even the design of a website, the goal is to be authentic, to stay true to what resonates with me, and to keep pushing the boundaries of what I can achieve.
So here I am, ready to move forward, ready to embrace the changes, and ready to see where this new path leads. Because at the end of the day, the most important thing isn’t about staying comfortable—it’s about continuing to grow, to learn, and to be unapologetically myself.
Much Love 🩷💖❤️,
UndefinedMarco
