I’d like to continue this self-imposed challenge of logging my days, actions, and even finances as I move forward with life. These logs feel like a written version of a self-portrait. And when you draw a self-portrait, you really get a good look at all the features that make up who you are. Some of […]
I’d like to continue this self-imposed challenge of logging my days, actions, and even finances as I move forward with life. These logs feel like a written version of a self-portrait. And when you draw a self-portrait, you really get a good look at all the features that make up who you are. Some of those features we like. Others… aren’t that flattering.
Actually, when I draw self-portraits, they tend to look too ideal — a little too graphic, and honestly, a little too anime. But as I push myself to grow — both as an artist and in life — I think it’s essential to look at those bits we tend to shy away from. The ones we’d rather smooth out or ignore. That’s the real stuff.
1000
I woke up and immediately finished yesterday’s laidback life log. With these daily challenges, it’s easy to procrastinate and put things off — but that’s really the worst thing you can do. Similar to writing a thesis (not that I’d know what that’s like), or sending tour updates and expense reports, it’s much easier to do things as they happen. The material’s still fresh in your mind as you lay one brick down at a time.
When you’re not rushing to get things done, you can actually build something. You measure twice, read through your own writing, and craft something meaningful over time. But leave it to the last minute, and you end up with either a shoddy house… or one that’s only half-built when winter comes.
My editing process usually involves walking away from a draft for a bit, then reading it over a few times. After that, I send it to the terminator — ChatGPT — for feedback. One of the great things about my repeated failures in life is that they’ve made me more receptive to feedback. I know I don’t always have the best idea. Sometimes to a fault, I overcorrect based on feedback. But I do try to fix the flaws that GPT points out, while keeping the things that still feel true to me.
At this point, GPT is like playing wallball — I bounce something out, and something comes back. It’s not like playing catch with a skilled editor or writer, but hey — practice is better than nothing.
At least for now. We’ll see where the tech is in a couple of years.
1130
Everyone needs time to wash themselves… hopefully.
I’ve been meaning to reorganize my apartment so I can find things faster in the morning. And it probably wouldn’t hurt to prep some things the night before, instead of giving myself a police pat-down every 15 seconds to make sure I have everything.
This morning was especially tight — I wouldn’t have time to go home and prep for my Kobe trip after work in Tokyo. So everything had to be ready from the jump.
1200
I walked to my local train station — about 20 minutes away and uphill. When I lived in rural Japan, the commute was easier in a way. Just walk to your car. No hills. No crowds. No train schedules.
Still, the walk now is beautiful. There’s a park lined with sakura trees that bloom this time of year. Because I was early, I stopped by my favorite Starbucks near the station. It has a big counter-style bar where I usually sit to sketch or write posts like these.
Also — and maybe this is just me — Starbucks always seems to hire ridiculously attractive people. Or maybe attractive people just love applying to Starbucks. Either way, my favorite barista was working.
We’ve had a few casual conversations over the last year and a half. I’ve complimented her hair, her makeup, her nails — little things, when the thought crosses my mind. I try to say kind things to people when they come up, not just to cute girls. If my friend gets a haircut or wears something cool — like Dave’s samurai jacket — I let them know.
Hisashiburi!
Once you’ve gotten to know someone in Japan — even casually — you skip the “konnichiwa” or “konbanwa” and go straight to “long time no see.” Her greeting made me happy.
“Hisashiburi” she greeted before taking my order. After I made my way to my seat and got settled she came over.
“The Sakura are really pretty this time of year, did you get to have a flower viewing party?” I asked
“No, it’s such a shame because the Sakura are in full bloom right now, especially around here! Have you had one yet?” She asked in return. I sipped a bit of my sweetened coffee before responding.
“No I’ve been soo busy with work, that’s what it’s like being a tour guide this time of year. Foreign visitors love seeing the Sakura.” she nodded as she did some tasks preparing other guests drinks. During this time of the day it was usually grandmas and stay at home moms.
“Do you take the train form here, especially around the station they are nice” she said pointing towards the station area.
“Yes everyday I ride the train”(I try to avoid buses at all cost) “There are two rows of Sakura on each side”. Another customer walked in and she went to take their order. If I were young and full of gusto, I might have asked her on a date sometime. Maybe it’s not worth ruining something that’s nice in pursuit of more?
Life as a Passenger
Being a passenger is one of the recurring themes in my writing. I don’t feel in control of my life anymore. Maybe that’s partly literal — I spend a lot of time being driven around in someone else’s van, or sitting on public transport.
But even on a train, I realized, I still have some agency. I don’t control the destination, but I control how I spend the ride. Instead of napping (which I love), or doomscrolling TikTok clones, I could be reading, watching films, learning new skills.
Another theme I keep coming back to is the tension between productivity and just enjoying life. I think that tension’s at the heart of the rut I’ve been in lately. Maybe it’s time to give it one last big push. One last shot at reaching the dream — before I go home in December.
1340 Taste of Home
I arrived early to meet the guests and wandered into a Cinnabon. Dangerous move.
It was more than just a sugar bomb. The smell — cinnamon and cream cheese and butter — instantly brought me back to a sweeter time in life. A time when “home” still felt like home. It’s funny how the phase of life I couldn’t wait to escape from is now the one I’d give anything to revisit.
The bitter coffee paired with the sweetness helped put it into perspective. That’s how the best memories work, I think — sweetened by time, grounded by just enough bitterness to remind you of what mattered.
1400 Meeting the Family
Today’s group was a family of five. They usually assign me to family tours because I’m basically an oversized child, and I don’t mind working with kids.
While they were finishing their ramen, I had a moment to sketch. I got distracted by a little sparrow that hopped into the outdoor seating area, pecking around and letting out soft chirps. I was just about to sketch it when the family finished eating.
“Are you an artist” their mom asked as the kids gathered around.
“Artist is a heavy label” I joked putting the beaten up sketchbook away. The kids started talking about Pokémon . . . the small boy excitedly ran up and asked.
“What do you think my favorite Pokémon is?” he asked with fiery passion. The kid was full of energy, passionate, and stared intensely into my eyes. He must be a fire type I thought. . . hmmm.
“Charizard” I stated confidently as Charizard was one of the more recognizable fire type Pokémon.
His mom was shocked. I had guessed the right Pokemon, well I’m sure a lot of it was luck, but every personality type gravitates towards a certain Pokemon element. You would be surprised the amount of thought that goes into the designs for even the most minor of characters in Anime. Just imagine the energy that goes into creating a large franchise like that.
(For those wondering, my favorite Pokémon is Eevee. Cute. Adaptable. Full of potential.)
Don’t Underestimate the Wisdom of Children
I get along well with kids because I recognize that in many ways, they’re more honest and pure than adults. Old people get to be brutally honest too, but it’s often bitter. Kids are blunt, but there’s no malice.
There’s a lot adults can learn from kids. And in return, I hope I can pass along some of my own wisdom — or at least a better attitude. We talked about Pokémon, Japanese trains, and what school is like here.
I playfully teased them:
“Your mom told me that you find Pokémon boring so we’ll skip the Pokécenter today” I sad smiling.
“No we love Pokémon” they exclaimed!
1400 Pokémon
We went to the Ikebukuro Sunshine Cit Pokémon Center — one of the biggest in the world. The entire floor is themed, with small Pokémon decorations tucked all over.
I helped the family find items and translate character names. Pokémon names are different in Japanese, which makes shopping an adventure.
One thing I love: the staff refer to the plushies using “iru” — the verb used for living beings — instead of “aru” for objects. It makes them feel just a little more alive.
1630 Playground
The kids seemed a little tired, but their parents suggested we find a playground — smart move. As soon as we got there, they came back to life.
We went to Shinjuku Chuo Park, which has an incredible playground. The parents looked exhausted, so I tagged in and played tag, hide and seek, just… played. And for the first time in a while, I felt free. Present. Just existing in the moment.
When playing with kids, I go just fast enough to make it fun. Not 100%. Winning isn’t the point — fun is. And that, too, feels like something adults forget.
1800 Clothes
The family took a taxi to dinner, and I headed to Uniqlo to pick up clothes for my next assignment. The contract required a specific dress code, and my usual look (edgy punk/techwear) wasn’t gonna cut it.
Honestly, I should update my wardrobe more often. I look like an Amazon employee who wandered into Hot Topic. Time to evolve.
1830 Trip to Kobe
Bought a bullet train ticket to Kobe and grabbed a bento box. At night, there wasn’t much to see — but that’s okay. I’ve learned to appreciate the quiet, even if the scenery is hidden in the dark.
I used to be nervous about taking unfamiliar train lines. Now I just board, sit back, and let the ride carry me.
2300 Hotel Check in
Arrived in Kobe around 11 p.m. I was exhausted but excited — it was my first time here.
The hotel had free sake. I poured a small cup, sipped it in the lobby, and made my way to my room.
I passed out soon after.
