Building Consistency with ADHD is a Challenge: Laidback Log July 27 2026

Building Consistency with ADHD is playing life on veteran difficulty. If there’s one thing in my life I would improve it would be my consistency. I feel like a dog with almost too much energy . Most of the time, I chase everything that moves. The feeling of being dragged in multiple directions can be explained by my late diagnosis of ADHD; still, that’s no excuse for the state of my life.

There are plenty of people with both ADHD and Autism that have things more together than me. When I originally created this blog, the idea was to be open and vulnerable. Thanks to the medium of writing, when I look back to some of my older posts, I feel like I can get a glimpse into my past self’s interior landscape. Honestly, I wish I would have written more, but I get intimidated by the scale of each narrative arc.

Trying to Build Consistency with ADHD

As I reference in a lot of my posts, perhaps it’s about learning in public; more importantly, it’s more about keeping myself accountable and keeping the infinitely hungry content monster fed.

Healthy Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving???

My mental health has taken an upward trajectory since moving back to America. I’ve been able to live with my support network, find stable employment, and reconnect with old friends. My physical health has taken a backseat, however. While I haven’t gained much weight, I think I’ve replaced my hard-earned muscle with a softer, more pliable material. I’m procrastinating on “trying”; sometimes nihilism gets the best of me.

After a weekend of wallowing in self-pity, I decided that change should come sooner rather than later. Things that I neglected earlier in life suddenly became important as I nursed a sore knee. Healthy eating, hydration, and adequate vitamins and supplements could have given me an edge on and off the field. I can still hear one of my favorite Athletic Trainers, Tigre Garcia, playing in my mind from time to time. I remember sitting in his office proudly telling him that I would regularly eat McDonald’s and how my family ate Jack in the Box frequently.

Just think what you could be with proper fuel

Tigre Garcia

They say wisdom is wasted on the old and youth is wasted on the young for a reason. Oh, to turn back time and go all in. Eating junk food is like putting regular unleaded in my 2007 WRX- what could have been. As I age into midlife, health is starting to look like more of a necessity than an option. I know some of these motivational speakers are a little cheesy, but some of their phrases can be sticky.

If I wanted to change my life today was the day. . . not tomorrow. As Alan Watts says, I can get anxious about the future and trapped in past regrets, but all we have is now.

Building Consistency with ADHD means going Back to the Basics

I have a self-explanatory series on my blog called “Back to the Basics“. It’s a series where I try to focus on the basic fundamentals of an area of my life. The 80/20 principle(Pareto Principle) states that 80% of the results come from 20% of your actions. When motivated, I take steps towards healthier habits. None of this is groundbreaking.

• Sleep
• Exercise
• Hydration
• Nutrition

Outside of those core habits, anything else I do is more of a multiplier rather than a base stat buff. As I turn into a classic 1990s model, I want to make sure I can feel and look good as I enter the vintage section of a CD store. As much as I agree with the Pareto principle, my autistic ass wanted to overcomplicate and dive deeply into things. I also believe in the power of marginal gains, which was made famous by the British cycling team so I’ve also been taking other actions to improve my health and aging process.

AuDHD Don’t Half Ass Things: Supplementing Health

Sometimes with my condition, people think I am lazy; and that is true sometimes(not always a bad thing, but that side tangent can wait). When I am genuinely trying and interested in something, sometimes I fail to start or make initial progress because I don’t fully understand a topic/area. While most people are capable of starting small, our brains crave knowing the mechanisms of how and why something works. Actions are almost delayed by a deep dive into knowledge search before I take action. I spent almost an entire day last week doing searches of supplements and their efficacy.

A whole Amazon Cart later, and I found myself with enough pills to start a pharmacy. The thought of swallowing all these pills makes my throat sore. As I took more pills than a medicated senior citizen in a mental institution, it felt foreign and inefficient. I would have to work out better morning habits and routine. . .shit no more sleeping in until the last minute.

One of the most lucrative industries in the world is the medical and supplement industry. It’s not a secret that selling health in a bottle is a popular way to make money. I’m not naive enough to think that just because I’m taking these pills, I’ve unlocked the limitless formula, but if they multiply my efforts even by a small margin, it makes it that tiny bit easier to have the activation energy to keep making progress.

Why Don’t we Have Cyberpunk Bodies Yet?

Vanity drives a small portion of my recent health obsession. Certain supplements such as NMN, Resveratrol, TMG, Collagen, and Retinol are for a healthier and more youthful appearance. They claim to support the mitochondria and cells in skin, hair, and nails. While I’m not obsessed with my appearance or presentation, it helps to appear neat and groomed. I can’t help but notice the lines and bags beneath my eyes becoming more pronounced each time I look into that reflective glass.

Perhaps everyone around or past my age feels the same way. Wanting to age gracefully and fight the ever-falling sands of time is a universal feeling, no? Even Maui from Moana “can’t swing it like he used to“. . . where’s my cyborg body?

Anyway, there are some things I do to try and “pull myself up by the bootstraps.”

Those last two are harder on some days. Also, I can’t believe I have to put some of those, but you’d be surprised. I always think that it would be easier if I were cybernetic so I could just program myself to do tasks. Then again, a cyborg body would have its own problems.

Building Consistency with ADHD Through Routines and Structure

I joked about how it would be easier if I could program myself like a robot to do tasks I’ve laid out in advance. Sometimes it feels like I’m the master of a flesh vehicle that doesn’t always want to listen to my commands. I found that I’m extremely good at managing wants and needs in a game like The Sims, but struggle to do so in real life.

Reality includes things like motivation, sickness, and other obstacles that get in the way of a perfect day. Despite all that, it took more effort to type out my morning routine than to actually perform it. After a set period, our habits become more fixed than pliable. More effort than writing out your morning routine is changing it or adding something new.

I’ve been meaning to create better and more efficient routines and habits. Looking back on the high performers I know in life and the lives of the successful people I’ve followed. Most of the time, their parents set them up with great routines and habits that carry them through life. Not just daily habits, financial, goal chasing, scheduling, etc. It’s not like my parents did a terrible job of raising me; it’s probably that we were too busy staying in survival mode to delve into those things.

Building Better Habits: I Need a Roadmap

Autistic people like “proper ways” of doing things, but it’s not like there is a guide on life. What’s comforting to me is to read the instructions on a pill bottle, furniture, or follow a recipe. My search history is filled with “how do you”, “when should you?”, or “what do you”. What you see above is my attempt at “living a healthy life.” An issue I run into is ADHD craves immediate results of my activity, but that would be like trying to watch a plant grow; even bamboo needs a time-lapse.

Speed, Beats, and Fancy Feet

I didn’t think it would take 1,625 words to describe my morning routine. After grabbing my lunch(Thanks, Mom… how old am I?), I began my journey to work. I’d be driving the whole way to Seattle, although it would probably be more cost-effective to drive to the light rail station and walk 25 minutes. Driving does allow me to overpack for work, however. My trunk hosts a small library of books I’m getting through at a rate that would make the Grand Canyon’s river erosion seem fast. But it did only take me two days to read Abroad in Japan.

Another great thing about driving myself to work is that my car feels like a Karaoke box. I can be a DJ, Singer, Dancer, Drummer, Guitarist, and Overall Performer. I don’t know what it is about being in a metal box with four wheels that makes me feel comfortable fully vibing, dancing, and singing in public. It’s not like the windows are tinted. . . they can see me making a buffoon of myself. . . at least they can’t hear me.

Today’s Playlist

There was a lot of Dubstep and Bass Music this morning. It would be a shame to listen to that music and not head bang. Hand signals and bouncing to the riddim followed. I’m not sure how YouTube derives its algorithm for suggestions, but it allows me to build my sound library for music production inspiration or hopefully DJing in the future. Listening to EDM means sometimes singing along but other times making weird, abstract, pitched noises with my mouth. Thankfully, I’ve learned how to recreate some of those sounds digitally; still, the sound design in this kind of music never fails to surprise me. Sound Design is one of those things I feel you can’t perfect.

I listened to one of my own remixes. It’s not because I’m a self-centered narcissistic artist who loves their work so much. Quite the opposite, even with my friend @S1LVA hyping me up, I’m unsure of the mix. This morning I performed the fabled “car test“, checking how well the mix sounded outside of my Sennheiser HD 280 Pros. Since my headphones are pretty neutral, it should translate well, but I found the stereo image was quite collapsed. There were certain sounds that were buried in the mix. I listened to the mix multiple times. Cycling through presets would inform me of things I needed to equalize or which way to tune the volume sliders.

Consumerism Virus

I found myself wanting more sound deadening, more bass response, and an updated head unit. I don’t make enough money to have such thoughts. . . better learn to do it myself. It would be nice to have a more updated or upgraded chassis to roll, but the thought of having a monthly payment petrified me. I would drive old reliable until it blew up. . .Plus, I have my other scrap heaps I need to repair. If I did “have it like that” you’d see me in a newer or similarly aged WRX-STI. Hmmm, how to get a higher paying job. . . At least I look like one of my favorite Protagonists in Baby Driver.

Baby Driver With Less Excitement and Crime

The fancy feet I’m referring to is my driving. It’s fun to be able to rev match, heel-toe downshift, and find the limit of your traction during on-ramp merging. The car under my ass is sporty enough to be fun without being dangerous. Despite jamming out, nearly all of my focus was centered on driving. Checking far ahead of my car for potential hazards before scanning my mirrors and flanks for vehicles. I wanted to be sure, in case of emergencies, I had somewhere to escape surprise danger.

With a manual transmission, you feel connected with the car. Cycling powerbands, managing speed, and fuel efficiency were determined by your direct inputs. I like to think of myself as Baby from Baby Driver. I felt as if the tunes moved me into the zone of the driving experience. His WRX had a sunroof, criminals, and stolen goods inside. Mine just had me trying to get to work on time. Back in the day, it had pizza, though 30 minutes or less. I need to live like a Japanese business man15-30 minutes early.

The Keeper of the Keys

Concierge is a French word that means “Keeper of the Keys”. When you say it that way, it sounds like some epic thing out of Lord of the Rings . . . Even better and more important is being like the Keymaker in the Matrix. When I speak about my role, I think I undervalue the importance and responsibility of having access to nearly every room in a commercial or residential area.

It’s my job to know everything about the building, keep the building manager updated, and give vendors access to important things like our boilers or HVAC units. I find it’s good to be proactive with things like lightbulb replacements, inspection dates, and anything else that might be a concern to the building.

The second part of my job is something I had mastered when I became a Tour Guide. Setting a nice environment is something I don’t believe I would have been able to achieve without tremendous amounts of hard work and reflection. In my freshman year, I froze when giving a speech about anime. Ten years later, I was leading strangers around a foreign land. I do my best to make genuine connections with people.

Lounge Music

One of the great parts about my job is that I’m also in charge of the lounge music. At my other building, I only have a 5-Disc CD player. It’s been fun going to CD stores and buying music I’m unfamiliar with. An important part of expanding a music library is listening to music outside of your palette. It was also a throwback to make mix CDs to inject a bit of myself into the lobby.

Today’s building has an Amazon Fire Tablet and an integrated sound system. My Boss said EDM was okay as long as it wasn’t club music; I knew the perfect artist. Blackmill was one of the reasons I started making music; it was also appropriate for a lounge. While listening to the station, I was pleasantly surprised to hear my DJ Hero, MitiS, on the same station.

Writing

It’s now 17:00. . . Between writing about what I did this morning and my other responsibilities, I feel like the whole day has passed by. Well, I don’t think I’ll have to overexplain my morning routine next time. The most important takeaway is simply starting something. Moving forward, I’ll be able to be more concise if I target that for improvement. Brian Tracey calls this  “Eating the Frog” . . . I think getting started is the hardest part.

I haven’t read that book, so obviously, as a serial procrastinator, I’m far from understanding that concept.

Updating the Building Manager

There’s a line in Hot Fuzz which shows a police officer’s most important piece of equipment.

What Nick is referring to isn’t a gun, radio, or taser, but a notebook. In my line of work, I could say the same thing. Several residents had come to me expressing concerns about things around the building. Instead of having to remember them off the top of my head, I had my notebook handy. One of the things I had to do was make an abandoned vehicle report.

Nature Walk

When my building manager came, he usually offers me an opportunity to go outside and walk around. I’d be a fool to not take him up on his offer. I walked by a corporate office to the sculpture park and the waterfront, stopping at 70s and Sunny coffee. I’ve been meaning to make lists and videos of all the coffee places and cafes that I like, but I add it to my ever-growing list of things to do and learn.

Japanese Study

I tell most people that I lived in Japan for 8 years. I’m really proud that I was able to do that; it wasn’t always a joyful, awesome experience, no matter how much it looked like that from the outside. Still, I want to go back someday. . . But never as a low-level employee or an English teacher, as great as my memories were.

Ideally, I would be involved in an international business of some sort, but we’ll see. The next time I go, I want to have at least N2 levels of fluency. . . That’s a big ask for an ADHD brain. . . But I just have to start. The most important thing is I make it a daily habit as opposed to a whale.

Luckily, some Japanese people live in the building. One time, a Japanese lady came down and gave me an impromptu Tai Chi lesson when she learned I spoke her language.

お元気ですか？

Oh lord, back to the Genki Textbook. . .

Are you filled with genki—元気: energy, vitality, good health? For a long time, I would have answered no. Today, though, I think I can finally say yes.

It was a good day, after all. How could I not be genki? I’m studying Genki.

Much Love,
Laidbackmarco