Laidback Log April 15th, 2025

It’s been over two months since my last post—at least, that’s what it feels like. The hardest part about building a habit is making it stick. As tedious as the process can be, I believe it’s essential if I want to guide my life in a happier direction. In The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg explores how both small and large routines shape our lives, often more than we realize.

Some people I once called friends have told me to “stop with all this self-improvement garbage” and just touch grass. If that’s how they feel, so be it. I’d rather listen to the advice from my old coaches: the two things you can always control are your attitude and effort. And now that I’m older, I’d add a third — your approach to problems.

I’m still figuring that one out. But when I do write these daily logs (and stop procrastinating), they help me take a step back and reset. Late or not, better than never.

Overly Self-Aware Knowing What You Need to Do

Everyone has an inner critic. You might be fooled by the dumb stuff people do online for clout, but even those folks have that little voice in their head. Maybe it’s even louder for them than most. That voice, annoying as it is, can be useful — especially in a world full of short-form content, short-term thinking, and instant gratification.

  • “You shouldn’t drink another beer.”
  • “It’s about time to study Japanese”
  • “It’s past midnight and you still need rest.”

Carl Jung called this part of ourselves The Shadow. It’s not inherently evil; it’s just the darker, unspoken part of who we are. If you don’t have this inner critic at all, you’re probably a psychopath. But if it’s too loud, it can drown out everything else. I fall into the second group — painfully self-aware and deeply critical.

Overactive Immune System. . . Overactive Critic

I’ve written about eczema before. It’s a recurring theme in my life, and today it serves as a metaphor.

Like the immune system that overreacts and causes eczema flare-ups, an overactive inner critic can cause mental inflammation. For most people, it’s a quiet guide. For some of us, it’s a roar we can’t turn off.

I don’t think it’s wrong to hold yourself to high standards. I’ve lost friends over that mindset, but I still don’t think I’m wrong. The problem is when those standards become unrealistic.

Growing up, my dad would always say, “Think before you speak.” As with many Asian parents, it felt like I was never enough. I still carry the sense that I should’ve been more like my sister—that’s what I was always told.

There’s a difference between insecurity and the pain of knowing you could’ve done better. That distinction matters.

I’m Not Good Enough

When I was younger and made mistakes in sports, my parents would try to protect me from feeling bad. But shielding kids from failure doesn’t prepare them for growth. Honest feedback, delivered with love, is more powerful than sugarcoated praise.

“You didn’t play great today. I know you tried hard, but we missed some easy layups. Let’s work on those.”
is more helpful than,
“You did great.”

Because deep down, the athlete knows. Lying to them only delays their development. I don’t resent my parents — they were doing their best with the tools they had — but it meant I didn’t develop the systems I needed to manage failure.

So instead, I internalized a belief: “I’m not good enough.”
That belief still lingers.

vs. Healthy Constructive Criticism

This all loops back to my log for the day:

“Didn’t log properly today, I’ve been feeling the need to tighten up routines“

That’s a good sign — it means I’m still paying attention.


Areas to improve:

  • Blogging
  • Company Reports
  • Expense Tracking
  • Japanese and Skill Acquisition

Reflecting on the day and writing helps to separate yourself from the life you are living. Taking a step back allows you to act as your problem-solving friend who wants the best for you. Our in-the-moment thoughts can be overly critical and harsh.

I’ve written a lot about how I admire Tim Ferriss and his idea of non-negotiables – habits you do no matter what. That’s where I still struggle. I want to get there.

Just Do It

None of these tasks are impossible. What’s hardest is starting.

Nike’s slogan — Just Do It — hits harder than we realize. The run isn’t the hard part. The hard part is getting off the couch, closing the tab, and starting.

I didn’t log properly on April 15th. But I did go for a jog.

And it felt amazing.

No, I’m not delusional enough to think I’ll become a pro athlete or esports star. But I want to make sure my mind and body aren’t the reason I can’t do something in the future. Working out quieted the noise in my head. For a little while, I was just here.

Much like the snow monkeys I watched that day, living in the moment.
And like them, I ended my day soaking in a hot spring.
I tried meditating there, watching my thoughts drift by like leaves on a stream.

Notes to Self

Today wasn’t perfect, but it doesn’t need to be.
What matters is showing up.

Areas to improve:

  • ✅ Blog writing
  • ✅ Report writing
  • ✅ Expense tracking
  • ✅ Japanese or Skill acquisition
  • ✅ Morning stretching for flexibility

Keep going.

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