There’s a Meta for Everything

Adult Life Skills are hard to learn, but I feel writing helps me to break the complexities of life down into bite-sized pieces.

Adult Life Skills Have Hidden Skill Trees

Writing more regularly has become a personal mission of mine. The only problem is I’ve been struggling to keep up with the flow of life. The feeling of constantly drowning has been quelled a bit by my new job. There seem to be too many variables, thoughts, actions, and activities to keep track of, even in an insignificant life like mine. With the SALT mixer post, I felt that I had caught up, even managing to log the day after.

First thing in the morning the next day was a hair appointment. Because hair plays a vital role in framing the face, I’ve been trying out my softer look. I’m just happy to have hair on my head at thirty-one years old. Hair can be used as an expressive tool depending on how it’s styled, just like clothes.

Working With Creatives

When working with creative people, the worst thing to do is cage them. It’s important to set some guardrails, but they need to be set free. Cosmetologists will sell themselves short, humbly claiming they aren’t creative. I run from the artist label myself. Students at Paul Mitchell Academy know more about hair, styling, and layering than I do. Instead of asking for a specific look, I aim for a feeling. I wasn’t an expert, but I knew I wanted some aspects of the things below.

• Trim and even the edges
• The bulk on the sides is too much
• Keeping the length, as I’m growing it out

The student, my hairstylist Isabella, kept those three things in mind as she walked me through her plan.

“What we will do is get your deep conditioning in first; I’ll trim up the new growth and any split ends. I’ll add some layering in the back and sides, and finally we’ll go in with the texture brush before final styling.”

Since she was only four months away from graduating, her answer brimmed with confidence. The decisive actions were built on hours of study and real-life experience.

Much to Learn, You Still Have

With as much as I’ve learned about life, I go into most things assuming I know next to nothing. Even in areas where I’m quite adept, I try to go in with a humble beginner’s mindset. The confidence that I know what I’m doing usually comes from external sources, not through metrics. The people who believe in me more than I do are the engine of my creation.

Even with the most basic things in life, I feel aloof and clueless. Planning, setting goals, and managing resources are foreign concepts. Basic adult life skills like cleaning, organization, and time management are skill trees I need to google. Attempting the most basic things and falling on my face makes me feel like I’m wiping on an early-level mob.

The long list of hair services at the Paul Mitchell’s School in Federal Way made me realize how deep the rabbit hole was. I felt like Neo swallowing the Red Pill. How to take care of hair properly shouldn’t be a mystery. What’s the proper way?. . . I’m autistic; I need a “proper way”. To learn would take a lot of research, experimentation, and planning.

Hair Concerns

• How do I keep my hair? A lot of my friends are going down the bald-to-beard pipeline.
• What are ways to keep my hair healthy? That’s another skill tree branch with an abundance of optimizations.
• Lastly: How do I style my hair to look good on my face shape and frame? I think in the pursuit of expression, people forget that we all come in different shapes and sizes.

In today’s world is that there’s no shortage of routines, products, supplements, and services that all claim to point the way. But like Paul Muaidib Atredis . . . I’m Pointing the Way . . . for myself at least. I hope you can learn from my successes and failures.

The Salon Experience

There was only one place I got my hair cut when I was a kid. The small, family-operated Vietnamese Barbershop in Southeast Tacoma. They converted their garage and living room into a simple barbershop. I’m all for supporting small businesses, but the services they offered were quite basic. A handful of scissor cuts, clipper cuts, and perms were their only offerings. Unlike the “black-owned barbershop” (I’m black so I can say that right), it lacked the vibrant, third-space social hub atmosphere. It was just the sound of white noise from a fluorescent light, clippers going, or shears against hair.

If I spoke Vietnamese, the experience might have been different, but even the Japanese 1,500 yen ($10) barbers would try to make conversation. I used my broken Japanese to respond. The clearly overworked stylists in Japan were still capable of delivering quality conversation. One thing the South Tacoma shop had in common with the Japanese 1,500円 カット is they were both fast, efficient, and cheap. Each business acted as if each haircut was a KPI metric they were trying to PB on.

Looking back, there’s something charming about getting a haircut in someone’s living room. It wasn’t so bad, as they had an SNES hooked up to an old CRT TV. Equally quaint was being overseas, getting a haircut by a Japanese person just off of their smoke break. The smell of tobacco still on their hands as they made conversation. Those 1,500円 カット places also offered basic coloring, shaving, shampoo, and nose waxing. . .that last one is a rush.

Presentation Matters

Your personal appearance and presentation matter, especially in Japan. It took me 30 years to learn that lesson. With service establishments, a collection of small elements shape how we perceive. The right lighting, interior design, or presentation can transform a basic service into an experience. The first time I walked into a Salon with my family sits in the back of my memories.

I can still remember the quiet dance pop, phones ringing, the rows of products, posters, and beautiful people walking all around. The smell of fragrant hair products was in the air as I bounced around the lobby; I feel bad that they had to deal with undiagnosed 8-year-old ADHD Marco.

The wait to sit in the chair was agonizing, but once I sat down, I felt like a pampered pet. The major difference between “a place that cuts hair” and “a salon” is a fundamental mind shift in cosmetology. One asks, “How do you want your hair to look?” The other asks, “Who do you want to be?”. Salon is a French word that means a fashionable assembly of interesting individuals or an elegant living space, fitting for our modern usage.

Salons as a Third Space

In cosmetology, personality matters just as much as skill, similar to how a favorite nail artist is found. Over time, a hairdresser becomes a friend; very little of the conversation is about hair. It becomes a 4-week check-in with a friend. It’s one of those low-stress, relaxing environments where opening up becomes easy.

Having a hair shampoo and a head massage is soothing; there’s something special about it. I imagine it’s how my dog feels when I pet her head or back. For that hour or so, it’s hard not to be content with life. The best part is walking out with the confidence of a fresh cut. I have fond memories of showing up to school photos as the one brown kid with spiked-up hair in a school of mostly “proper” Catholic, mostly caucasian school kids.

Deep Condition

I didn’t know what a deep condition was, but I imagined it would be good for me. As much as I love coloring my hair, it is harsh on natural hair. I thought that a deep condition would be a good idea. My hair is the softest it has ever been, even a week later.

As much as the treatment was for my hair, my mind was also calmer and more relaxed that morning. I have been taking every extra shift I can to try and claw my way out of whatever rat race I’ve gotten myself into. So it was nice to exist with the sole purpose of being pampered in the morning.

Costco Shill

After my appointment, I ended up going to Costco. Groceries were in short supply at home so I decided that the first option should be Costco.

The problem with Costco is spending more money than originally intended. Lunch is the one exception with the $1.50 hot dog. Walking through the aisles gave me excitement for all the possibilities and potential uses of all the products I didn’t know I wanted or needed. Simultaneously, the same products gave me the anxiety that I would never be financially stable enough to purchase the things I imagined using.

I walked by large TVs, Sound Systems, game consoles, and all the electronics that made me feel like I was in a deck-measuring competition with a neighbor. The commercial grade and expresso machine with a latte milk frother occupied the perfect mornings in my dreams. But it was much like looking on Zillow, Suumo, or car upgrades. I didn’t have the financial stability to warrant such purchases.

At the end of my trip, my cart was filled with long-term items like large honey and short-term groceries like fruits. I really needed to organize house supplies into logistic lists and know what items are “Costco items” and which items would be better off purchasing at regular grocery stores. At least I got my $1.50 hot dog.

Cost Per Ounce/Cost Per Unit

Psychology is weird. With cheaper purchases in the $0–$50 range, we tend to focus on the dollar amount when we should probably be paying more attention to the percentage difference. With more expensive purchases, we often do the opposite: the flat-dollar increase feels more significant than the percentage increase.

For example, if I bought a Built Bar every workday for a week, it would cost $3.50 × 4 days, or $14 a week. That works out to $56 a month or $672 a year. If I instead bought Costco’s bulk Protein Bars at $26 for a 20-count box, that’s about $1.30 per bar, or roughly $249.60 a year. Buying the individually wrapped Built Bars is around a 170% premium. An extra couple of dollars doesn’t sound like much in isolation, but percentage-wise it’s a massive difference.

Meanwhile, with something like headphones, going from $120 to $150 for a pair that may last longer or offer better quality can be worth the extra 25%, IMHO.

Right now I need to be as cost-effective as possible, so I’ve been buying things like protein bars, pre-workout, electrolyte mix, and fruit in bulk at Costco. Everything in my cart was at least a healthier alternative to food with little nutritional value, like chips and cookies. I’m trying to level up my health combo strings.

I Need to Get on Financial Tracking And Management!!!

New Flower Blooms

Even though I haven’t been in the area for almost 10 years, many of my favorite staple restaurants survived COVID. All of them locally owned hidden gems. If a restaurant has survived COVID, it’s probably worth going to. My best-performing social media videos are the short features I’ve done on food places I’ve been going to for over a decade. As much as I have my comfort picks and menu items, I can’t help but feel that I haven’t varied my taste palette enough. When life feels dry or monotonous, an easy way to give it more flavor is to try a new restaurant. . . See what I did there.

I discovered Bloom Thai while watching Foster’s Creative Flowers for My City video. After having such a good time at Foster’s Creative events, even talking to the founders, I knew that anyone they worked with would be fun to meet. Generally, once organizations hit a certain point of success, they only work with parties they want to work with.

Food With Nanay

I met my mom there for lunch. She and I are both hermit crabs, so I try to get us up and out of the house. Eating good food with great company makes the taste better. Another benefit is sampling different menu items. We walked in and were greeted by the restaurant’s story. It was a heartwarming read, and the friendly faces in the kitchen gave us warm smiles as we found some seats.

The décor and design made me feel like I was invited into someone’s kitchen as opposed to eating at a restaurant. I ordered a Pork Belly Pad Thai, Thai Tea, Shrimp Udon Pad See Ew, and Pork Belly Fried Rice. When the Pad Thai hit my tongue, it quickly became the best Pad Thai I had ever eaten in my life.

My mom and I were so relaxed, and as we were gushing about the food, I was also recording everything with my trusty Canon R6 Mk.2. Since the last time I used it, I leveled up my skills. I shot at 10-bit 4K resolution using C-Log 3. To get the most dynamic range I elected to shoot at an iso of 800. I also lowered the in-camera sharpening and saturation values to have the most flexibility in post-production.

As I was recording, the table next to us started up a conversation.

“Is that for a review?” a woman with glasses said, smiling.

“Oh haha, no, I shoot these cheesy videos for social media highlighting certain restaurants I like”. I gave a self-deprecating laugh after.

Slightly Embarrassed

My mom started to glow next to me as she was talking about the insignificant videos I produced. My face was also glowing red-hot with embarrassment. My successful videos were nothing but a fluke. In 10 minutes, I could point out all the imperfections and several other creators with better camerawork, editing, pacing, and personalities.

It felt like when my dad gloated about my sports activities. “I played high school football for Bellarmine”, when really I just participated on the team. I couldn’t even sit on the bench because our coaches made us stand the whole game. . . I couldn’t even bench ride correctly, and my dad was always running his big mouth. . .

At least my mom had kept it reserved and didn’t blow it out of proportion.

“It’s really nothin’,” I assured them, staying humble like I was taught to in Japan. After some more conversation, I asked the two women a question. “Do you want to be in my video?” Looking at each other, one shyly shrunk while the other held her head high.

“What do I have to do?” The girl with the glasses asked, standing tall. Fully expecting both of them to say no, I scrambled for a response.

“Oh, something about the restaurant. . . Or your experience.” I mumbled . . . Oh boy, I didn’t know I was such a “great director”. . . Edgar Wright would be proud. Face Palms* After my “awesome direction,” the woman responded without tripping over a single word. . .. Was she media trained? For me, it was nice to be behind the camera and not in front of it

Apex Legends Session

Masters is a Rank in Apex Legends I’ve been trying to hit for a while. Improvement was fast at first, but I feel like my growth has stagnated, even though I keep getting better. Similar to my Japanese learning, I feel that I’ve hit a plateau. It was a nearly 9-hour play session, and my team and I climbed from the bottom of Gold 2 all the way to the Top of Gold 1.

It might not sound that impressive, but each Rank Split resets everyone’s rank by two divisions. I regularly hit diamond, but the progress is slow after. As a result, we ran into a number of last season’s Diamond and Masters squads. I’ve been able to wipe masters squads semi-regularly, so I know I can rank up with a bit of improvement.

If I can’t find improvement alone, I can try to use AI to help me draft an improvement plan or get a coach. I know I’m decent at most aspects of the game, but if I want to be “great” at the game, I’ll need to continue to polish out the rough edges and analyze myself and better players.

Areas of Improvement

This play session, I was able to put a couple of things I’ve been working on into practice. The lurch RAS strafe allowed me to stay alive in situations I might have been killed before. Having more confidence in my 1v1s and fighting on low health is something I’ve improved, as well as my ability to not panic and stay calm.

Staying calm helps me to formulate plans under pressure, place Wattson nodes more accurately, hit more shots, and use abilities/cooldowns/utilities more tactically. There are still times when my mental stack gets overwhelmed. Under duress, it’s easy to forget about possible 3rd party angles. It also makes it hard to play off existing knowledge, I.E., playing around legends like Axel when I know they have utility to punish mistakes. There were also some times when I should have applied combat pressure instead of prioritizing picking up knocked teammates or healing.

It was my first day playing Ranked on the new split. If I want to improve, I have to play daily.

Laser Hair Removal

I’ve become more comfortable with my identity as a feminine boy. Femboy is something I had learned about while streaming and playing APEX Legends in Japan. While it’s not the most socially accepted thing in certain parts of the world, in Seattle or in Japan, people are either indifferent or encouraging. Logically, there’s no reason to get angry at someone who is wearing clothes or presenting themselves in a way that’s abnormal. My logic here is that I like x clothes, nails, and hair, and I think it looks good on me if I style it right.

Usually femboys don’t have stubble or beards. I didn’t have much facial hair until my late twenties, but as I grew older it started becoming thicker and more noticeable. Because I’m not going down the Bald-Beard skill tree like many of my peers, I shaved on a daily basis. . . Until I was depressed.

But now “WE HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY” to shoot lasers into facial hair and get rid of the pesky Five o’ Clock Shadow. Thanks to Groupon, I got an amazing deal on three sessions, so I thought, let’s try it out! After some intake questions, I found myself lying on a medical table getting my face zapped.

Ever Licked a 9-Volt Battery?

The Madsen MedSpa in Edgewood uses a Soprano ICE laser, which means that the tip cools down, making the sensation of getting facial hairs melted more tolerable. The sensation was really similar to licking a 9-Volt battery, but instead of a tongue shock, it’s on all the hair follicles. The only part that dipped into slightly painful burning was my mustache hairs; they put up a good damn fight.

The doctor was extremely professional. His personality reminded me a lot of my athletic trainer in high school. He delivered his speech in much the same way as his care. Precise, calculated, measured, and calm. I was surprised I was able to have a conversation mid-zap. The monotone straightforwardness is something the autistic side of my brain appreciated.

Just what I Knee-ded

It’s been nearly 15 years since I tore my ACL. I wonder how far modern technology has come in terms of healing a busted knee? After three ACL tears, surgery is off the table. My sporting days are long over; the only thing I’d be picking up after a pick-up game is my broken body. After I lost my ligament, I was a fraction of the player. Not that I was talented to begin with. Perhaps I could make exercise more tolerable with shockwave therapy. The doctor told me about it and gave me a free demo session.

The initial treatment was a little painful, but it felt better as the procedure continued. Occasionally I’d get a sharp ping of a feeling that wasn’t necessarily pain, but my knee felt much better.

I’m not a Walmart American, am I?

Asmongold has a term for average milquetoast Americans called the “Walmart American“. I’m not sure if I fall into that category, but boy do I love the prices there.

For Dinner

• Mushrooms
• Tomato Stock
• Beef Stock
• Onion
• Corn Starch
• Beef
• Pork

Personal Items

• Collagen Peptides
• Protein

For the House

• Ironing Board
• Iron

I bought everything on my list before getting detained by the clothing aisle. The prices were so good that I had to at least try some things on. I ended up buying

• Overalls
• Vest
• Jean Jacket(I got it on Rollback for $15)

Is it surprising that it’s possible to craft a fashionable look at Walmart? I’m glad that there was a fitting room I think I was able to pull off a solid look for around $30 dollars. As an added bonus, I can keep my old clothes fresh now that I have an iron.

The Art of Cooking

As a kid, I was taught “if you’re going to do something, do it right.” That’s the attitude I take into life. Sometimes this frame of mind clashes with my practice. For example, I should do a large personal organization overall, as I know I’m a bit of a mess. I think the issue stems from not having any interest in a subject at all. Luckily, cooking is something I’ve always had a curiosity about. When I have days off, I like to cook meals from scratch for my family. I enjoy the idea of being able to cook as an art form. Today I would make two meals from scratch.

• Beijing Beef
• Japanese German Fusion Schnitzel

We Have Panda Express at Home

I’m a big sucker for cheap American Chinese food. As a WSU alum, one of my guilty pleasures was eating at the on-campus Panda Express. The Beijing Beef was so delicious. When I saw the bottle of Sauce at QFC, I had to buy it. This was my first time using Egg Whites to marinate meat with cornstarch, but apparently it’s common in Chinese dishes.

I think I did okay making this dish, but next time I think I’ll cut the steak thinner. I plan to incorporate tempura batter into the breading so it’s crunchier. The sauce itself didn’t taste quite like the Panda Express version, which is more tangy and spicy, but my version was good in other ways.

The beef itself was higher quality. I used a combination of flank steak and round steak, which had a good amount of lean and fatty meat. The vegetable/meat ratio at Panda Express has gotten worse over the years. I feel like every place is packing fillers into things to extract maximum profit. My dish had a healthy balance of each. Finally, the breading on my version is a little more flavorful because I mixed a little crispy fry in with the cornbread.

Robata Chane IRL!

One of the fun aspects of King of the Hill’s New Season is Bobby’s new restaurant, Robata Chane, a German-Japanese fusion restaurant owned by Lao people. Since I’m a little older, I find the humor in this because there are plenty of establishments that share a convoluted cultural identity. Teriyaki Restaurants sometimes cosplay as Japanese establishments, but the owners are Koreans.

Teriyaki is a Seattle invention!

One of the most absurd is the Mexican Restaurant and Store in Federal Way, El Campeon, which is owned, managed, and worked by Koreans. Speaking of oddly weird but cool cultural melting pots, you haven’t lived until you’ve done an Oktoberfest in Japan. I was so confused as an American surrounded by Japanese people dressed as Germans, speaking Japanese, then singing in German . . .one thing every culture could agree on is German beer is delicious. . . Just maybe don’t drink 3 liters in one sitting as I did.

German Katsu Curry

German + Japanese fusion 8does work. The meal I made used Japanese-style Katsu and a German mushroom Jäger Schnitzel Gravy. It’s like Katsu Curry meets Germany. I served mine with German potatoes. But because Americans ruin everything, I put ketchup and Tabasco on my Schnitzel. When I was a kid, there used to be a German restaurant run by a small family in Fife. The chef would get mad at my dad and me for putting ketchup on his schnitzel.

“You’re ruining it”. The old German cook would say. At first he was genuinely mad, but after we had gone there for so long. He would say it with a smile. One skill I never managed to pick up from my dad was his ability to socialize and become friends with anyone. My dad and the chef bonded over my dad’s experience in Germany when he was in the army.

Japanese Lesson

This week’s Japanese lesson was a review of the passive form. This time around it made much more sense. I still have trouble with when to use it or the sentence structure of certain forms. Reproducing the chain of sounds is also a tad difficult, as it was not a chain of sounds that I was used to making. I even did all of my homework.

Moving forward, I need to:

• Review Genki 1 and 2
• Pick up Nihongo So-Matoume Books
• Start Watching Japanese Content Again

I’m all caught up, right???

Ever since I went to that SALT event, I made the personal promise to myself to write more of my experiences down. With the whole mental landscape in place, it makes it easy to go back and relive memories, learn about yourself, and document growth. I still think to my time in Japan, and I wish I had written more. Memories on Facebook and IG stories remind me of my mental state at the time, but it’s just a snapshot of an internal landscape. So I’m all caught up, right???

No no, no… 

I need to live a more boring life so I can catch up and save money.

Potential Blog Topics

• Starting Ritalin/Bupropine
• Nailing Down Processes
  • Morning Routine
  • Sleep Routine
• Non-Negotiable List
• Treating body better
  • Therapy
  • Vitamins/Supplements
  • Dental Checkup Floss Brush
  • Fuel Eating Better
• Studying Japanese. . . Again
  • Learning to be Genki
• Learning Excel
  • Tracking Finances
• Job in Seattle
  • Coffee in Seattle
• Personal Reflections
  • Cosplay Weekend Sakurakon
  • Doggy Walk North Tacoma
  • William Black Set/Meeting Friends
• Sakuracon
  • Cosplay Fun
  • Mistakes
• Using AI for Posts
  • Still want to get better at art and construction
  • Will wean of the AI
• Post blog promo
  • Work Doesn’t End when it’s finished
  • Catering to Each Platform
  • Shorts
• EDC
  • Day 3
• SewerPerson Show
• Friendslop Games
• Texas Trip
  • BBQ
• Uniqlo, Filipino Food
• Food Places in Tacoma
• Hoppers
• Sexy Nerds
• Boomer Concert WAR
• Spider-Man Brand New Day

Apparently, learning Adult Life Skills just keeps adding more quests to my log.
It looks like my Skyrim quest log.

Much Love,
LaidbackMarco